I may be a bit fucked up tonight
but dont sit there and blame for shit i didn't do.
i feel bad enough on my own without you getting on my case any more than normal.

another night i get to punish myself for shit i've done wrong.
maybe this time i'll swallow my problems in pills instead of with a razor.
its not like you'd care right now anyways. it's not like i care at all.

i shouldnt sit here and feel sorry for myself,
i dont deserve that luxury.

its nights like this i want nothing more than to be left alone
and deal with my problems on my own

tomorrows therapy and i dont want to go
why should i
it doesnt help
my meds might if  took them
i honestly dont want to though
 

Hope everyone had an amazing Halloween!

Tomorrow, hell begins.
I start my partial hospitalization program.
It should be interesting if nothing else.
honestly , Im scared.

 

I feel better about not having a job after reading about ptsd
I still feel like a huge ass for not being able to take care of
myself but not a big of one

I cut my arm, and my leg, but that one isn't bad
the arm one probably needs stitches.
Its just hard for me to tell my dad.
I just need to
 he'll understand
even if I don't want to stop
 

Marissa, you've never been one of those people.
and I don't see you ever being one.

I'm still here. nothing interesting going on though.